


Fate

by holdontoyourhulahoops



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, M/M, Unrequited Sourin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-17 02:06:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4648158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holdontoyourhulahoops/pseuds/holdontoyourhulahoops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From the moment Sousuke learned of soulmates, he's only had one person in mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fate

Sousuke had still been very young when he’d first learned of the concept of soulmates from his mother.  She had pulled him into her lap, eyes growing soft as she spoke.  

‘It’s a special, private moment between two people.  No one ever knows when it will happen.  Sometimes, people can know each other for many years before it does.  But when it happens, it means you’re destined to be connected forever.’

‘How will you know when it happens?’ he’d asked, tilting his head to the side.

His mother glanced off with a faraway look in her eyes.  ‘You’ll know.’

Sousuke had just stared at her with unblinking eyes, and nodded obediently when she’d promised him he’d one day have that moment with a pretty girl.  

However, the only person he’d been able to think about was Rin.  

It’s a secret he keeps in the bottom of his heart; a shameful, useless secret, hidden away in the hope that no one will ever discover it.  He pretends not to care about soulmates, rolling his eyes when Rin brings them up with a starry-eyed expression.

But Rin, the romantic that he is, doesn’t make it easy.  He spends hours prattling off about it, his hands held over his heart.  Sousuke just sighs, trying to pretend his stomach doesn’t sink every time Rin mentions it.  Because although Rin would never admit to it, Sousuke knows he has a potential soulmate in mind too; and, of course, it isn’t him.

Nanase Haruka, for all his eccentricity, is more graceful in the water then Sousuke can ever dream to be.  Rin is taken by him from the moment they meet; his eyes shining in amazement as Nanase glides through the pool like he belongs there.   When Rin announces he’s leaving to go train with Haru’s team, Sousuke tries not to be hurt.

It was inevitable, he tells himself.  He had to let go of his stupid childish fantasy at some point.  The concept of soulmates is dumb and unrealistic anyway, doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.

So he lets Rin go; tries to shrug off any lingering feelings he may have, and watches him slowly slip away with his new friends.

Rin disappears completely from his life soon after, moving on to bigger and better things.  But Sousuke doesn’t forget him, and continues with his training. He works himself to the brink of death, and then keeps going, all under the stupid hope that one day it might lead him back to Rin.

Of course, it isn’t possible for his body to keep this up forever.  It gives out, and everything comes crashing down into a metaphorical pit.  He’s left with nothing but bitterness and a broken shoulder; no more scholarships, no more swimming, no more hope for his future.

Seeing Nanase Haruka again only reignites this bitterness, simmering just beneath the surface whenever he so much as thinks about him.  

Haruka, with his near miraculous swimming abilities, and Rin practically wrapped around his finger.  He has everything Sousuke has ever wanted, but doesn’t seem to want to do much more then waste away in a bathtub.

It pisses Sousuke off more then it should.  Even after reconnecting with Rin, he can’t help the way his lips curls when he sees them together; the way Rin's eyes shine whenever Haru even glances in his direction.

The least Haru can do is to return that affection, take advantage of his talent for swimming, and actually accomplish something with his life.  Then at least Rin would be happy.  Sousuke could accept that.

But instead he just gets to watch Nanase Haruka laze around the swimming pool indifferently, while he has to fight for his last few stolen months with his best friend.  

It’s this building frustration that leads Sousuke into cornering Haru against a vending machine before their practice race, eyes narrowed with vehement animosity.  In hindsight, he can admit to himself that it’s a dick move.  But years of failure and disappointment cloud his judgment.  And it’s not like he really intends to hurt Haru, just make himself clear.

“Don’t ever get in Rin’s way again,” he says, nostrils flaring.  If Haruka’s going to waste his own potential, the least he can do is not hinder Rin’s.

Haru doesn’t look afraid, or ever particularly angry; maybe a little annoyed at most.  He stares back at him with an unreadable expression, and says nothing.

Sousuke curls his lip.  Part of him almost wants to shake Haru, just to get some kind of concrete reaction out of him.  Anything.  

But then, suddenly, his heart grows incredibly warm, practically burning in his chest.  It’s not actually unpleasant, like the warmth of a campfire on a winter’s day, but it’s still alarming in its unexpectedness.  He gasps, reaching for his chest.

Haru too, is frozen in place, back pressed to the surface of the vending machine.  His mouth falls open, but before either of them can speak, their chests begin to glow a soft blue. Sousuke staggers back in shock, transfixed by the light shining out from beneath Haru’s training jacket.  

The warmth races down his veins and throughout his entire body, his heartbeat hammering in his ears.  It’s overwhelming, and his vision swims with the force of it.

He thinks he might pass out.

Yet it’s over as quickly as it started.  The light dims, and then fades completely, leaving behind no trace it was ever there. Sousuke is finally able to gasp for breath, as his heart rate slowly returns to normal.   Haru leans against the vending machine, mouth hanging open.   

Sousuke doesn’t feel any different.  If someone were to walk by, they probably wouldn’t see much out of the ordinary.  But that doesn’t change things. He wonders if this is cruel irony, as he stares at Haruka in horror.

He’s no idiot.  Deep down, he knows what this means, even if he refuses to think of the implications.  Judging by the lack of confusion in Haru’s eyes, he does too.

‘Destined to be connected forever,’ his mother had said.  What bullshit.  Sousuke rips his gaze from Haru’s face, and turns to storm away without a word.  Haru doesn’t call him back.

While he doesn’t know the first thing about soulmates, Sousuke decides he’s not going to let something as stupid as fate rule his life.  

Haru, apparently, agrees with him.  At first, Sousuke’s afraid he might corner him about it, but the race goes on without them interacting at all.  When he chances a quick look in his direction, Haru’s simply staring off into space, not seeming the least bit fazed.  For all Sousuke notices, Haru doesn’t spare him a single glance the whole meet, and leaves with his team as if nothing had happened.

Sousuke tells himself he’s thankful for this.  It’s not as if he wants Nanase Haruka as his soulmate.  

Even still, he doesn’t sleep at all that night.

* * *

 

“You’ve been off since the practice race,” Rin accuses a few days later, his eyebrows pinched together.  “What’s going on?”

Sousuke doesn’t look up from his textbook.  

“Huh?” he asks, trying to sound completely indifferent.  He can’t really deny that he hasn’t been himself, but he’d been trying his best to hide it.  He must be doing a pretty crappy job, if even Rin’s noticed.  As much as he loves his best friend, Rin isn’t exactly known for his perceptiveness.

“Don’t play dumb, Sousuke.  I’m not blind.  Is something up?”

Sousuke swallows.  “Guess I just haven’t been getting enough sleep.  Stressed from school and stuff.”  It’s a weak excuse at best, but Rin just rolls his eyes.

“Fine.  If you wanna talk about what’s actually wrong, I’ll be here,” he says dryly.  “And go to sleep, you moron.  It’s past midnight.”

“Then why aren’t you asleep?” Sousuke shoots back.

“Touche.”

* * *

It’s probably not correct to say that Sousuke is avoiding Haruka, considering they never interacted much in the first place.  

Still, it’s a little odd that Haru can be so nonchalant in the rare moment they’re forced into each other’s presence.  It’s almost as if he’s forgotten about the vending machine incident altogether.

This shouldn’t bother Sousuke.  It’s what he’d wanted to happen, _god damn it_.  But he’s been spending weeks getting limited sleep as he tries to avoid thinking it.  Maybe he just wants some indication that Haru has been torn up over this as well.  Or, a small voice in his head suggests, maybe he just wants a reason to continue hating him.  Sousuke ignores that voice vehemently.

They’re at another joint practice with Iwatobi, waiting for the coaches to arrive.  Rin is laughing happily with Hazuki, as they babble off reminiscing about old times.

Like usual, Haruka stands off to the side, avoiding them to gaze longingly at the water.  However, today there’s something almost off about him.  When Rin offhandedly mentions the next meet to Hazuki, he seems to flinch, mouth dropping into a scowl.

Sousuke doesn’t realize that he’s been staring at the side his face for almost half a minute, until Haruka twists around, meeting his eyes for the first time since what happened at their practice race.

Mortified, he quickly averts his eyes.

“Something wrong, Yamazaki?” Haru asks, looking as disinterested as ever.  Whatever had been wrong with him before seems completely wiped away, to the point that Sousuke almost wonders if he imagined it.

“What are you talking about, Nanase?” he bites back, with a scowl.

Haruka shrugs.  “Whatever,” he mumbles, and they go back to standing in silence.

* * *

 More time passes.  Regionals looms over the horizon.  Sousuke’s shoulder doesn’t get any better, unsurprisingly.   He and Haru stay as distant as ever, and his relationship with Rin isn’t much better.  Sure, they’re fine on the outside.  Sometimes, they can pretend that everything is like it used to be.  But there’s an underlying tension there; too many secrets between them, too many conversations they haven’t had.  Sousuke doesn’t know what to do about it.

One night Rin comes storming into their dorm, hands balled into fists.  He whips his track jacket at the wall, throwing his arms up in frustration.

Sousuke raises both eyebrows at him.  “What happened?”

Groaning, Rin kicks his mattress, before flopping forward in defeat.  “It’s Haru.  He still hasn’t even considered anything about next year.  Scouts are practically fighting for him, and he- he doesn’t give a crap!  It pisses me off!  What an idiot!”

“Why should I care what Nanase does with his future?” Sousuke hisses, before he can stop himself.  

Rin seems a little thrown by his harsh tone.  “ _Jeez_ , fine.  You’re the one who asked.”

“I don’t know why you care so much,” Sousuke grumbles back, curling his lip.

“Because he’s my friend.  Damn it, Sousuke, what’s been up with you lately?” Rin demands, grinding his teeth together.  “I know it’s not just about Haru!”

Sousuke glances down.  “It’s nothing,” he lies, and stands up abruptly.  There’s a distinctly familiar pull in his shoulder when he reaches for his training jacket, but he wills it away with a grimace.

“I’m going for a run.”  

Rin doesn’t try to stop him.  When Sousuke returns two hours later, he’s already asleep.

.

Despite their arguments, Rin puts on a confident face during regionals, slinging an arm casually over his shoulder.  He flashes a smug grin, that Sousuke knows is mostly for the benefit of the rest of the team.

“We’re winning this relay for sure,” he announces, which is met by a loud cheer from their teammates.

Sousuke tries to meet his eyes with a smile, but it’s difficult.  His shoulder has been getting less and less manageable.  Just one more day is all he needs, and then it could fall off for all he cares.  He’s been swimming on borrowed time anyway.

So what if he peaks at seventeen?  The least he deserves is one small moment of glory with his best friend.  Surely, fate can spare him that much?

 

That night, Sousuke runs into Haru in the elevator.  He’s hardly surprised, as his luck has always been shit, but he resolves to ignore him completely.  They both seem to have a lot on their mind, so they just stand in tense silence.  

That is, until Sousuke tries to reach for some fallen towels, and jerks back at the sharp pain in his shoulder.

“Your shoulder hasn’t healed yet?” Haru asks, sounding almost a little concerned.  Sousuke’s eyes widen in shock.

“What are you talking about?” he tries, but it’s useless to lie at this point.

Perhaps he shouldn’t be so surprised that Haru already knows.  Even if Kisumi hadn’t said anything, he probably still would have figured it out.  Haru has a strange way of noticing things, when he bothers to put the effort into paying attention.

Sousuke can’t even find it in himself to care.  He glares at the ground, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Don’t breathe a word of this to Rin,” he hisses, before storming away, never looking back to see the shocked look on the other’s face.

* * *

All Sousuke had wanted was for his shoulder to hold out for one more measly race.  But it seems even that was too much to hope for.  Halfway through his practice heat, his shoulder begins to burn with searing pain, and it only gets worse with every stroke.  He barely manages to sneak away to the showers before collapsing in on himself beneath the cold water, clutching his shoulder in agony.

The water does little to dull the pain, but he refuses to call anyone for help.  

It’s pathetic, really.  He once had dreams of being an Olympic swimmer, with scouts after him practically from middle school, and this is what he’s become.  He clenches his eyes shut, gritting his teeth in a poor attempt at distracting himself from the pain.  

Suddenly, the water turns off.  He flinches in surprise, back pressed to the tile wall. When he opens his eyes, Haruka of all people is standing over him, an unreadable expression on his face.  Sousuke stiffens with shock, but he’s powerless to do much but stare helplessly up at him through his hazy vision.

Haru says nothing.  He blinks twice; face falling into something that Sousuke almost mistakes for pity, but might just be concern.  Sousuke has a fleeting thought that his eyes seem oddly puffy, but it’s quickly chased away by another wave of pain shooting through his shoulder.

Grunting, he scrunches his eyes closed again, ashamed.  His lip trembles.  Part of him is waiting for Haru to start laughing at him, at what he’s done to himself.  

Because Sousuke knows this is all his fault.  He was reckless.  He ignored all the warnings.  In some cruel way, he deserves this.

But then there’s a soft, gentle touch over the inflamed skin of his shoulder.  A comforting warmth spreads over the surface, dulling the pain.  It’s the same warmth he’d felt near the vending machine that day, and it causes him to draw in a hitched breath.

Reluctantly, he wrenches his eyes open.  Haru is now kneeling in front of him, eyebrows pinched together.  Oddly enough, this proximity doesn’t bother Sousuke.  Maybe he’s just too weary to care anymore.

Without a single word, Haru leans forward to wrap both arms around his waist, pulling him into a tight hug.  Sousuke goes limp against his chest, dropping his forehead onto Haru’s shoulder.  He should find this weird.  Here he is, being held by someone who’s practically a stranger, no matter what their fated connection may be.  

But for once, he swallows his pride.  He’s too exhausted, both mentally and physically, to fight it.  The warm, soothing, energy spreads throughout his body and he finally allows himself to crack.  A single strangled sob rips from his throat, and then it’s like everything he’d been bottling up suddenly spills out.

Haru remains motionless, his face pressed into the side of Sousuke’s neck as he allows the other to sob against him.  They stay like that until Sousuke manages to collect himself, never speaking a word to each other.

Finally, Haru draws back, pushing his bangs from his face.

“I’m going to call for help now,” he says, voice soft.

Sousuke nods.  “Okay,” he mumbles.

The rest of the day passes in a blur.  Haru disappears, and soon Sousuke’s rushed to the hospital.  At some point Rin shows up and starts yelling, tears pouring down his cheeks, before dropping his head against his best friend's chest and apologizing profusely.  Sousuke comforts him with a tired smile, petting his hair.

Somehow, even though he never got a chance to swim in the relay, he feels oddly at ease.

* * *

After regionals, Sousuke doesn’t see Haru again for weeks.  Part of him wants to seek the other out so they can actually talk, but something holds him back.  He still isn’t sure what happened back at the showers.  Maybe Haru wants to pretend it never happened.  Considering he hasn’t bothered to speak to Sousuke, it isn’t that out of the question.  He can’t really begin to understand the enigma that is Nanase Haruka, so he just accepts it as that, and moves on.

All of Sousuke’s supposed animosity towards him has melted away.  If he’s being completely honest with himself, he never really hated Haru in the first place.  

Any hope he had of ever swimming professionally in the future is now gone, but he’s not that hung up over it.  In the back of his mind, he wonders if that’s what he ever really wanted in the first place, or if it was just his way of holding on to a childhood fantasy.  Unfortunately, without any meaningful future aspirations or opportunities, he’s doomed to waste away at his parent’s company for the rest of his life.

And yet, despite all of this, he feels better then he has in months.  At least it’s out in the open.  No more hiding, no more secrets.  He can just accept it and move on.

A guilty expression still forms on Rin’s face whenever he sees the shoulder brace, but Sousuke shrugs it off with a smile, dismissing his concerns.  Sure, his soulmate probably won’t be part of his life, and Rin's going to keep swimming without him, but it could be worse.  He’s accepted his fate of mediocrity, and he’s okay with it.

_Really._

.

It’s late at night a few weeks after regionals, when Rin’s phone suddenly begins vibrating with a quick succession of messages.  He frowns deeply as he checks it, and makes some comment about Makoto freaking out over something before racing out the door.  Sousuke doesn’t think much of it.  He knows that Rin has a soft spot for each of the Iwatobi boys, and the extra attention he’s been paying Tachibana recently hasn’t gone unnoticed either.

When his phone vibrates fifteen minutes later, Sousuke still isn’t surprised.  Although he doesn’t get many text messages of his own, he assumes it’s just Rin telling him to remember to lock the door or some stupid thing like that. Rolling his eyes, he glances down to check.

It’s not from Rin.  In fact, it’s from an unknown number, with only three words.

‘please come outside’

Sousuke furrows his brows.  This almost seems like the plot to some poorly written horror movie.  It’s already late, and he has no idea who could possibly have gotten his number.  Still, against his better judgment, he finds himself dragging his feet outside, curious.  

It’s possible Momo got Ai locked out, and he asked to borrow some stranger’s phone or some similar situation involving his two younger teammates.  Momo has a tendency to get them into trouble, after all.

Yet, when Sousuke steps outside, there’s no underclassmen yelping about being locked out.  Instead, it’s entirely deserted, and he feels immediately uneasy.

That is, until he notices a figure lurking off to the side of the courtyard, face slightly illuminated by a cell phone screen.

Upon further inspection, Sousuke recognizes this person as Nanase Haruka.  He lets out a quiet gasp, taking long strides toward him.

“Haru?  What the hell are you doing here?” he asks, frowning.

That’s met only with tense silence.  When Haru finally works up the nerve to look up at Sousuke, it’s clear that he’s not okay.  His eyes are red and puffy like he’d been crying, and his hair is a disheveled mess.  Sousuke’s heart sinks, unsure what to do.

“I…” Haru stutters.  His voice is almost impossibly small.  “I don’t know…” He draws in a strangled breath of air.  “Makoto and I had a fight and I…” He cuts off as his body begins to shake, his lip trembling violently.

Sousuke acts before he can think about the consequences.  Surging forward, he pulls Haru into his arms.  The same warmth from before spreads through his chest, and Haru seems to melt into him, going boneless as he struggles to inhale stuttered breaths.

There’s a damp spot slowly forming on his t-shirt, but Sousuke doesn’t comment on it.  The least he can do is return the favor from before, and hold Haru without asking any questions.  

He has no idea what exactly the boundaries of their relationship are, but he knows he’s not going to let go until Haru wants him to, no matter how long that takes.

Eventually, he manages to maneuver them both inside, back to his dorm room.  Haru continues to lean against him for a while, even after he’s gone completely still.

For a moment, Sousuke thinks he may have fallen asleep standing up, but then Haru shifts, lifting his head.

“Sorry,” he says with a scratchy voice, rubbing the grit from his eyes.

“No,” Sousuke assures uncertainly, tilting his head to the side.  “It’s fine.”

Haru sniffles, but doesn’t offer any further explanation.

“You can stay the night,” Sousuke offers, chewing on the inside of his cheek.  He’s not sure if it’s the right thing to say, but he doesn’t want Haru leaving in this state either.

Haru draws away from him, blinking rapidly.  Sousuke almost thinks he’s going to just walk out without a word, but instead, he slumps onto Rin’s bunk, drawing his knees to his chest.

Seeing Haru like this twists Sousuke’s insides.  At one point in his life, he’d kind of figured that Haruka was something of an emotionless asshole who didn’t care about much more then the next pool he would be able to throw his body into.  Of course, this has long since been proven wrong, but seeing Haru looking almost… _fragile_ is scary.  

With a soft sigh, he drops onto the edge of Rin’s bunk.  “Do you…. want to talk about it?”

Haru doesn’t respond at first.  He hugs his knees closer, keeping his back to Sousuke.

“We’ve… never fought before,” he admits, voice shaking.

Sousuke has to wonder how the hell that’s possible. For as long as Haru and Tachibana have been friends, it’s a little hard to believe that it’s only their first fight.  However, he holds this thought in and tries to sound sympathetic when he replies.  

“Fighting is normal sometimes.”

Haru whips his head around to glare at him.  “I know,” he snaps, scowling.  “But…” His face falls, before he buries it in his pillow.

“Yeah… it’s hard,” Sousuke agrees, scooting closer.

Humming, Haru, drops his shoulders in exhaustion, turning back onto his side.  “Makoto’s going to Tokyo.”

“Oh.”

“I don’t have a dream.  He’s worried.”

“Oh.”

“Rin wants me to swim competitively,” Haru adds, folding farther in on himself.

“And you don’t want to?”

“You don’t know me, Yamazaki,” Haruka grumbles, as if he’s waiting for Sousuke to start yelling at him to live up to his potential.  And a couple of months ago, Sousuke probably would have.  But now…

“I know,” he says simply, bowing his head.  “It’s your life.  I don’t have the right to tell you what to do.”

Haru freezes, before letting out an exhausted sigh.  “I don’t know what to do,” he murmurs, sounding almost like a small, scared child.

“Okay,” Sousuke mumbles, because it’s all he can say.  When Haru doesn’t speak again, he stands up to climb into his own bunk.

“No,” Haru whispers, voice a little desperate.  “Stay...”

Sousuke’s eyes widen at the request, but he doesn’t question it.  He lifts up the blanket to climb onto the bottom bunk beside him.  It’s a tight fit, and his arm brushes against Haru’s back, sending the now familiar warm energy throughout his body.

They lie in silence.

“How’s your shoulder?” Haru asks after a while, voice breathy.

“Screwed up,” Sousuke replies honestly, with a quiet snort.  “But it is what is it is.”

Haru makes a noncommittal sound, and lets the subject drop.  

“Hey, Haru,” Sousuke whispers a few minutes later, clenching a hand into a fist.  A soft intake of breath is the only indication he gets that the other is still listening.   “I’m sorry for acting like an asshole to you before.... It was never about you.”

There’s a pause.  Haru tenses, before he rolls to face him.  “I know…” he sighs, his breath ghosting against Sousuke’s face.

Neither of them speaks again, but it’s strangely comfortable lying side-by-side.  Eventually, they both manage to fall asleep.

It’s some of the best sleep Sousuke’s gotten in weeks.

* * *

 Haru leaves early the next morning, as neither of them are anxious to explain the situation if Rin were to show up and find them sleeping together, _in his bed_ , no less.  

Haru stands in the doorway, hands folded together in front of him.

“Thanks…” he mumbles, eyes soft.  

“Yeah…” Sousuke replies, leaning in the doorframe.  “Um… Haru…”  He scratches the back of his neck, fighting to get the words out.  “...call me if you need anything.  We’re friends... or whatever we are… so….”

Snorting, Haru steps forward to touch his arm.  The familiar surge of heat cuts off his painfully awkward line of speech, and his back stiffens.

“Okay, Sousuke,” he mumbles, his cheeks growing slightly rosy.  “You too.”  With that, he turns away with a small smile.  

Sousuke finds himself leaning in the doorway long after Haru is out of sight.

* * *

 

The rest of third year closes up relatively uneventfully.  Haru and Makoto make up within a week; Haru sends a picture to Sousuke of the two of them eating ice cream, their faces pressed together in the shot as they smile at the camera.  

They’ve been texting a lot lately, even if most of their messages only consist of random pictures; a cat Haru saw on the walk home, an action shot of Rin yelling at the swim team, the side of Haru’s face as he stands in front of the beach.  It’s nice, and makes Sousuke wonder why he insisted on spending so much of his life hating Haru, when it could have been like this.

He’s grinning down at a picture of Haru flashing a peace sign in front of a restaurant when Rin walks into their dorm room, eyebrow raised.

“What’s got you in such a good mood?” he teases, punching Sousuke in the back.

Shrugging, Sousuke stuffs his phone back into his pocket.  “Just texting a friend.”

“Since when do you have other friends?” Rin gasps.

“Asshole.  I have plenty of friends.”

Rin laughs, brushing his hair from his face.  “Yeah, whatever.  Anyway, that’s not what I’ve been meaning to tell you.  I got accepted to a university program back in Australia.  I think… I think I’m going to train there.”

Sousuke offers him a genuine smile.  “I’m proud.  I told you your performance at nationals would have scouts falling over you.”

Blushing, Rin bites his lip.  “Shut up! What about you?  Don’t you have a plan yet?” he asks.

“Still thinking about it.”

Rin sighs dramatically.  “Come on, Sousuke.  Even if swimming isn’t an option…”

“-If you apologize again, I might end you-” Sousuke cuts in, but Rin brushes him off with a scoff.

“I know you don’t just want to spend your life working with your family’s company.  You have a ton of potential!”

“I appreciate the thought, Rin, but it’s more complicated than that."

Rin rolls his eyes.  “Jeez.  Between you and Haru I’m going to fall to an early grave.  That guy doesn’t have a plan either.  It’s annoying.”

“I’m sure he’ll figure it out.”

“Yeah, but gosh, he’s such a good swimmer.  He could probably win a gold medal in the Olympics.  And I’ll miss swimming against him.”

“Maybe he just doesn’t want that,” Sousuke replies, with a breathy sigh.  “It takes a certain type of person, doesn’t it?”

Brows furrowing, Rin turns to him like he’s grown a second head.  “What’s gotten in to you?  A couple of months ago you were ready to chew Haru’s head off whenever he’d put a toe out of line.  And don’t try to deny it, I’m not an idiot!”

Sousuke allows himself a faraway smile.  “I guess a lot has changed,” he says cryptically.

Rin only grunts, shaking his head.  “Whatever.  Sometimes I can’t understand either of you.  Can you believe I used to think Haru was my soulmate?”

Sousuke has to try to pass off his ensuing coughing as him just choking on a piece of gum.  

“Holy crap, Sou, don’t die!” Rin barks, eyes widening with concern.

Holding a hand to his mouth, Sousuke shakes his head, gasping for breath.  “I’m fine,” he grumbles, reaching into his pockets to curl his fingers around his phone.  “It’s just funny.  I feel like you used to talk about soulmates all the time when we were young.  Makes me feel kinda nostalgic.”

“Heh.  I was an idiot back then.  Now I’m more realistic,” Rin announces, puffing out his chest, as if he’s not still the same romantic sap he was before.

“Moved your sights to Tachibana, then?”  Sousuke asks, with a shit-eating grin.  

Rin almost slams his head on the bunk behind him, face burning as red as his hair.  “S-shut up!”

Until recently, Sousuke doesn’t think he could have joked about Rin’s feelings for another person without the familiar lump of bitterness and inadequacy forming in his stomach.  But this time, he just throws his head back and laughs, chest vibrating freely.

* * *

Though Sousuke has been texting Haru pretty frequently, they haven’t met in private since the night Haru showed up unannounced at his dorm.  Sure, they’ve run into each other because of their overlapping friend groups, but even then, there’s an unsaid rule between them not to act too out of the ordinary.

Sure, Haru may spare Sousuke a neutral nod, and Sousuke has stopped glaring at the side of his head, but none of their friends really seem to suspect much

While Sousuke doesn’t mind this, he knows at some point they’re actually going to have to have a substitutive conversation about what the hell is going on with their relationship.

And because he knows Haru probably isn’t anxious to do so, he decides to take the initiative himself.  

By some miracle, he manages to track down Haru’s house without having any unfortunate run-ins with anyone who might recognize him.  His hands trembles as he stands in front of the door, before he reluctantly lifts his arm to knock on it.  He hadn’t been able to work up the nerve to warn Haru of his arrival, so it would really suck if it turns out he's not home.

Luckily the handle eventually twists, and the door is pulled open, to reveal a sleepy-looking Haru standing in the entrance.

If he’s surprised to see Sousuke there, it doesn’t show on his face.  He nods pleasantly, before stepping aside to let the other walk in.

Sousuke follows Haru into his kitchen silently, his arms swinging awkwardly at his sides.

“Aren’t you going to ask why I’m here?” he asks, letting out a low breath.

Haru blinks at him.  “Friends can just drop by for no reason, you know?”

“Are you implying that I should have come by earlier?”

The only response he gets is Haru sticking his nose in the air, which he assumes means yes.  He rolls his eyes.  

“If you wanted me to come by, you could have just texted me.”

“I never said anything,” Haru replies cooly, as he pours them both some tea.

“Well… I did come by for a reason,” Sousuke begins, wringing his hands together anxiously.  He can’t put this off forever, or he’ll really lose his nerve.

Haru takes a sip of his tea, feigning disinterest.  “...hmm?”

“We should talk… or something…”

“About what?” Haru mumbles.

“What-? You know what I mean!” Sousuke grunts.

Haru just quirks a thin brow at him.

With a sigh, Sousuke reaches out to take the other’s hand.  The familiar energy surges between them, warmth rising up his arm.  “This.”

Eyes trained on his cup, Haru keeps his expression neutral.  Nevertheless, he makes no attempt to pull his hand free.  “What’s there to talk about?”

“I mean… it’s mean’s we’re…” Sousuke trails off, flustered.  He can’t bring himself to say it.  “Do you want it to mean anything?”

This time, Haru lifts his gaze to meet his eyes.  “Do you?”

“Yes,” Sousuke replies, with surprising ease.

Haru glances down, a flush rising up his neck.  “You don’t really know me,” he reminds.

“You don’t really know me either.”

“I don’t have a plan for the future...” Haru mumbles.  “And I’m not…. well…” He trails off without saying more, but Sousuke knows what he means.  Neither of them are particularly good at communicating, especially about their emotions.  It’s going be a struggle.  But it’s one he’s prepared for.

“I know.  I know of all that.  The future isn’t going to be easy.  I have don’t have a decent plan, either,” he explains, giving Haru’s hand a squeeze.  “I was thinking, though… And this only if you want to, but maybe…what I mean is…” He cuts off, unable to force the words out, biting his lip with embarrassment.

His stuttering seems to have put Haru more at ease, at least.  He snorts, his eyes flashing teasingly.  “Yes?”

Sousuke rolls his eyes.  “Look.  It’s too late to take entrance exams for next term.  But I was thinking... I’ll work this year and try to build up some money, and you can do whatever it is you do, and then we can try for the exams next year.  Maybe go to Tottori, because it’s not too far away, and you could still come home.  They have an art school, since Rin once said liked that and... and we can figure it as we go… together.”

Haru stares at him, unblinking.

“Only if you want to!” Sousuke adds.  “Even if we’re… whatever we are, you don’t have to!  Do whatever, just, I thought, since we’re both… Actually, never mind… I’ll just...”

But before he can get up and run from the house, Haru finally takes pity on him, squeezing his hand tightly and links their finger together.  It sends a jolt of energy up Sousuke’s arm, and he immediately snaps out of his panicked rambling.  He flinches at the sensation, before glancing down nervously at Haru’s face, a little sheepish.

By some miracle, Haruka doesn’t look upset.  In fact, if Sousuke’s not imagining it, there’s a hint of a smile there.

“Okay…”

“Okay?” Sousuke repeats, mouth hanging open.

Haru nods.  “I’ll think about it.  I can… get a job at the swim club this year or something.  And we can figure it out.”

“Right,” Sousuke laughs, a little breathless.  “We’ll figure it out,” he echoes.

Haru steps forward to drop his head against Sousuke’s chest.  “Okay,” he agrees, in a small voice.  He doesn’t argue when Sousuke sets his tea aside to pull him closer, running a hand through his hair.

Honestly, the thought of the future still kind of terrifies Sousuke.  He’s gone from giving up on his future entirely, to slowly wondering if he’s worth a new dream, and that’s a lot to take in.  There won’t be a quick fix for his shoulder, or any of Haru’s carefully hidden anxieties.  It’s going to be frustrating, and require a lot of hard work and patience.

But it’s okay.  He thinks back to the moment he and Haru learned of their connection; back to his initial horrified reaction.  At the time, he’d only been bitter and confused, dismissing the idea of soulmates as complete bullshit.  But now, he’s not so sure.

Maybe fate does know what it’s doing- or, maybe the entire concept of soulmates _is_ bullshit.  

Whatever the case, with Haru pressed against his skin, he feels significantly more secure; even with all of the looming uncertainty hanging over their heads.  

With Haru here, he thinks maybe they’ll both be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> Long angst thing to celebrate the end of summer I guess. Oh dear, it was supposed to be a lot shorter too! Sousuke and Haru mean a lot to me. This became less and less about soulmates and more or more an attempt to fix what I wasn't exactly happy about with the way their endings were handled.
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated!
> 
> Send messages or prompts at hopenobodyeverfindsthis.tumblr.com


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